Flying Monkeys: 2009

The Descent

PLOT: A group of thrillseeking girlfriends explore an unknown cave system only to find some really nasty creatures dwelling underground.
STARS: Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Mendoza (both pretty much unknown)
A year after Sarah (MacDonald) loses her husband and child in a car accident, she joins her friends on a cave exploration led by gung-ho Juno (Mendoza). Juno lies to the group, taking them to an unknown cave system as opposed to the mapped out one that they had planned to explore. I'm not generally a fan of horror movies but as soon as I saw a trailer for this one I HAD to see it. It is scary but it's really good. What's great about this movie is it's not until about halfway through the movie that you are even introduced to the creatures living in the caves but you're on the edge of your seat the whole time. There are plenty of surprises that will keep you jumping until then. The only thing I didn't like was the ambiguous ending. I don't need my movies to end with happily ever after but I need closure and this movie did not provide it. It's just a personal preference, not something that takes away from the movie. If you want something that will keep you in suspense, this will work. And my rating for this movie is based on scary movies always being better on the big screen.
(*****)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

STARS: Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Russell Brand
PLOT: Kristen Bell is the Sarah Marshall of the title and she dumps Jason Segel for Russell Brand's British pop phenom character. Jason's character then flies to Hawaii in an attempt to forget her but unfortunately, Sarah and her new man have also gone there as well, staying at the same hotel of course. Mila Kunis plays a hotel employee that Jason develops a crush on. I was a little surprised at this movie. It's really funny. I've seen Russell Brand do a few interviews and I was ready to hate his character but he actually ended up being one of my favorite things about the movie. And the nice thing about Sarah Marshall is that eventually you see why she broke up with her boyfriend. She's not just an evil shrew, she just couldn't give any more to a doomed relationship. Yes, Jason Segel is naked during the break up scene and yes, it's more than a little awkward and unnecessary. But he's great as a guy hopelessly addicted to his lost love. Best line of the movie? Jonah Hill's character asks Brand if he's listened to his demo CD yet, and Brand responds, "I was going to, but then I decided to get on with my life." (paraphrasing).
(****)

Latest Twilight News

Okay, if you're a hard core Twilighter than this probably is really old news to you, but for the rest of the world, this is for you. I was stoked to find out that Michael Sheen is set to be a vampire in New Moon. He played a vampire in the Underworld movies and he was one of the best things in the series. He has to be playing one of the Volturi. Aro, to be specific.

If you've never heard of Michael Sheen, let me give you some background on him. If you look him up on IMDB, you'll see a bunch of pics of a somewhat nerdy looking British actor. If this is all you know of him, you'll be at a loss as to why I'm so excited. But look at his resume. He was "Frost" in last year's Frost/Nixon. He played Tony Blair in The Queen. I can't wait to see what he will do with the creepy, sinister leader of the Volturi.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

PLOT: It's sort of a spoof of Walk the Line. It's the rise and fall of a singer throughout his career.
STARS: John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Kristen Wiig, Tim Meadows
This movie follows the same basic plotline as Walk the Line but it's completely irreverent and inappropriate. There are a few good moments here and there but the best thing about the movie is the songs. The filmmakers have crafted completely original songs for this movie. The styles range from Johnny Cash to Bob Dylan to disco. They're great. Skip the movie and check out the soundtrack instead. (**)

Made of Honor

PLOT: A single guy's best friend runs off to Europe and comes back engaged. He agrees to be her maid of honor even though he's just realized he's in love with her.
STARS: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan
This is basically My Best Friend's Wedding all over again. But this one is much nicer and more fun. Time is actually spent setting these two up as best friends who are very much a part of each other's lives. So when Patrick Dempsey realizes he loves Michelle Monoghan, you believe it. They all head off to Europe for the wedding, with Patrick coached by his friends in how to steal the bride. Humiliation ensues, as expected, with the requisite happy ending. I liked this one better than a lot of the other chick flicks that have been coming out lately. I think Patrick Dempsey is smart to be picking movies like this and Enchanted. That's where his bread and butter is. (Does anyone else remember Can't Buy Me Love?) This movie is fun and sweet. (****)

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

PLOT: The true story of how one of Jesse James' own gang members assassinated him.
STARS: Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell
I have heard so much about this movie, I was expecting to be blown away. I really wasn't. Affleck is Ford, he joins the James gang having idolized Jesse his whole life. He's let down though and plots a way to take him down. That part is easy to understand. I got lost in another part of the plot where Jesse is trying to track down certain members of his gang. Who was he tracking again? Who is secretly plotting with whom? And who is who exactly? It got a little confusing for me.
However, I am going to recommend this to anyone who is a Brad Pitt or Casey Affleck fan or if you're just a student of acting studies. These two are amazing. As Jesse James, Brad Pitt goes from confidence to suspicion to depression to resignation. Sometimes all in one scene and with few words. He can see the end is coming and yet he's powerless to stop it.
And Casey Affleck. He's not just the tag along little brother of Ben Affleck. If you've only seen him in Good Will Hunting or any other side kick role, you are missing out. This came out the same year that Gone Baby Gone came out (another great movie). He's so good. His Robert Ford has spent his whole life almost worshipping Jesse James. He doesn't just want to be like him, he wants to be him. But reality never holds up to our illusions. You can see the exact moment that Robert becomes disenchanted with Jesse. Robert is a man who longs for grander things and sometimes fools himself into thinking he's got it but ends up worse off than he ever expected. These two are the only reason to see the movie but they are worth watching. (***)

30 Days of Night

PLOT: A small town in Alaska is attacked by a band of vampires during their 30 days of no sun.
STARS: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George
Again, it's a vampire movie...had to see it. I don't sit through too many horror movies. I'm not a big fan of being scared. This one had me on edge until pretty much the last 15 or 20 minutes. That's when I had a few problems with plot points and believability.
Now, the vampires in the movies are not of the Twilight type. There is a reason this is rated R. They have mouths full of the nastiest fangs I've seen on a vampire. They've been dormant for years and are now coming out to...take over the world? Have a snack? Not exactly sure why they were coming out at this particular point in time. But they decimate this little town. There is a small band of survivors that keeps moving closer to a big utility plant just outside of town where they think they will be safe. No surprise, they don't all make it.
At the risk of being thought completely deranged and psychotic, I have to tell you my favorite scene of the movie. It's an overhead shot of the vampires attacking the town. What you see is people running everywhere. It's hard to distinguish between the vampires and the townsfolk because it's dark and it's total chaos. But everywhere you look, there are huge puddles of dark red blood on the white snow. It's a massacre. I'm not much for gore, but I loved the way this scene was filmed. It was a great shot.
I'm giving this movies 4 stars. Scary movies are always better seen on the big screen.
(****)

My Rating System

I've decided to give my movie reviews a rating. I at least like most movies but I wouldn't necessarily want to watch them over and over again. So here's the system I've come up with. Since there is no key with a "star" on it, I will use the asterick for my star.

1 star (*) will be for movies that are not worth your time. They are a waste of studio money and you will wish you had that hour and a half of your life back.

2 stars (**) will be for movies that I would only sit through if it happened to be on TV when there was nothing else on.

3 stars (***) are for movies that I would check out from the library or watch from Netflix. I might have been entertained but I didn't put in too much effort or money.

4 stars (****) are movies that I would go to see at the discount theater or maybe even pay matinee prices to watch. It's worth the trouble of finding a babysitter and even paying for tickets.

5 stars (*****) are movies that I would pay the full, $9.50 movie price to see. (That's saying a lot because I'm cheap, uh...I mean, frugal!)

Underworld; Underworld, Evolution; Underworld, Rise of the Lycans

PLOT: Vampires are in a war against lycan (werewolves). The story is told from the perspective of one of the vampires.
STARS: Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen, Scott Speedman
I had to see these movies because, hello? they're about vampires. Plus, any movie that has a girl kicking serious butt gets a thumbs up in my book. Kate Beckinsale is great as a death dealer vamp. She doesn't look like the heroine of Pearl Harbor or Serendipity in this movie. There is a story line about her falling in love with a vamp/lycan hybrid but it doesn't rally dominate the movie. There are definitely inconsistencies here. The lycans are portrayed as so fierce and viscious it's hard to believe they haven't wiped out all the vampires. And the third movie brings back a character named Sonia who was only quickly referred to in the first. But when they showed her in the first, she was blonde and then she was brunette in the third. I know it's a small thing but really, how hard is it to go back and look at the first DVD and see that you need to cast a blonde? I loved the whole history and backstory for these movies. People who you think are good, aren't. Those who seem evil may not be. But I have to say my favorite thing about this movie was discovering Bill Nighy. I've heard his name hear and there but never really saw him in anything. Actually, I have and you probably have, too. He plays Davy Jones in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. You know, the guy with all the tentacles on his face? Yeah, that's the guy. Can't say his acting really caught my eye in those movies. But I feel like I stumbled upon a hidden gem in this movie. Whenever he was on the screen, I couldn't take my eyes off him. And not in the same way that I can't take my eyes off Colin Farrell or Russell Crowe. No, I just loved watching him act. He has an accent that seems to float between east coast upper class and pompous British. I'm currently looking through his movie archives to see what I can add to my playlist. But even without Bill Nighy, these are good movies. If you have any interest in vampires or that type of lore, I definitely recommend all three of these.

The Wedding Date

PLOT: A woman hires an escort to be her date at her sister's wedding, where the best man is her ex-fiance.
STARS: Debra Messing, Dermot Mulroney
There is nothing surprising in this cute little rom-com. It's very predictable. Debra Messing is cute as the single sister with issues. Holland Taylor plays the mother (as she does in almost every movie she's in). I just love her. I love romantic movies so I can handle the predictability. What bothers me is Dermot Mulroney. Yes, he has a great voice and yes, he's good looking. But where did anyone get the idea that he would make a great romantic lead? He was horrible in My Best Friend's Wedding and only marginally better in this. Who do I want for a romantic lead? How about Mark Ruffalo, Matthew McConaghey, Aidan Quinn, or (oooh) Clive Owen. If these guys are the steak of romantic movies, Dermot Mulroney is a hamburger. Yeah, it's good, but there's no comparison. And I'll buy into the love at first sight concept in movies but we're really not shown any reason why they would fall in love with each other. (Side note: that's why I don't like Two Weeks Notice. Fun movie, terrible romance story. These two would never fall in love.) So if you're a hard core rom-com addict like I am, it's a fun little (and I do mean little--only 79 minutes) movie. Enjoy.

Bolt

PLOT: A TV superhero dog thinks he really has powers and has to face reality when he runs off to save his person.
STARS: the voices of John Travolta, Miley Cyrus
I saw this with my kids and my nephew last night and I thought it was so funny! I laughed throughout the whole movie. I'm a little leary of any animated movie that isn't from Pixar, even Disney movies. I hate how so many of these "kids" movies aim their humor for adults. It's so inappropriate. I don't want to take my kids to a movie only to have to spend an hour explaining all the things they heard from the movie that they'd better not repeat. I was pleasantly surprised with this one. Once I found out that John Lasseter was the executive producer it made sense. He is the head honcho at Pixar, which is owned by Disney. He is very careful to make movies that you could take small children to. He's very family oriented. It shows. We all had a good time and enjoyed the movie. There wasn't any bathroom humor and the only word I had a problem with was "moron". John Travolta was perfectly cast as Bolt. He was so sweet. (Maybe he should stick to animated movies instead of the hammy, overacted roles he's been taking.)All the sidekicks were great, too. My favorite part of the evening happened during a scene where Bolt is getting a pep talk from a hamster. Logan (my middle child) turned to me in an excited voice and said, "You have to believe in yourself! That's what the movie's about! You have to believe in yourself!" He then proceeded to shout it down the aisle to the rest of our crew. Love that kid. So go see Bolt, it has a great message.

The Usual Suspects, Etc.

I watched The Usual Suspects recently. Yes, I know it's been out for years but I hadn't seen it yet. I thought it was pretty good. Kevin Spacey does more than his fair share of scenery chewing but I still enjoyed it. Here's the thing. I knew the twist at the end before going in. No one told me what it was, but I've done enough reading about movies to have figured it out on my own. That happens. It was the same thing with The Sixth Sense. I read several articles about the movie ahead of time that kind of pointed out the big plot secret. It never bothers me to see a movie knowing how it ends, it doesn't spoil it for me. What's fun for me is to watch a movie, knowing how it will end, with someone who doesn't. Obviously, when I know, I see the little clues sprinkled throughout the movie that usually you have to go back and catch during a second viewing. It's fun to see how everything leads up to a climax that (in theory) you didn't see coming.

I have to admit, I'm the same way with books. After I've read the first few chapters and am invested in the characters, I jump ahead and read the last chapter. I'm not exactly sure why I do it, but I can't help it. I have to know who's still with me in the end.

I'm curious. Have you ever watched a movie knowing how it ended and wished you hadn't known?

27 Dresses

PLOT: A woman has been a bridesmaid 27 times all the while dreaming of her own wedding, hopefully to her boss that she is secretly in love with.
STARS: Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Ed Burns, Malin Ackerman, Judy Greer
Katherine is Jane, the self-sacrificing bridesmaid. She does everything for the bride. She says that she has a lot of close friends, but really, she's just addicted to weddings and taking care of everyone. Her sister comes to town and falls for Jane's boss and they get engaged. This, of course, means Jane has to (help) plan the wedding. James Marsden is a reporter doing an article on the perpetual bridemaid unbeknowst to her (ala The Runaway Bride). She's always so concerned with other people's happiness that she never gives a thought to her own. It's fun seeing her model all of her bridesmaid dresses, some of them are really out there. And you can never go wrong with Judy Greer. She's hysterical. It's a cute movie. It's a very reliable, predictable chick flick. But those are some of my favorites.

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

PLOT: A successful, well-to-do talk show host returns home to see his family who do their best to bring him down a notch or two.
STARS: Martin Lawrence, Michael Clarke Duncan, James Earl Jones, Joy Bryant, Nicole Ari Parker, Cedric the Entertainer
Here's the thing, I think Martin Lawrence is hysterical. I have to pass on his comedy though, he's too raunchy. But I love his movies. He cracks me up. In this movie, he heads home to Georgia to see his family. They are not impressed by his lifestyle and they all spend the whole movie treating him like family, meaning they are not nice to him. The whole movie is him trying to figure out who he is and what's really important. Mo'Nique stars as his sister and she's a little over the top. There's a funny scene where she beats him up...that's a real family! Cedric the Entertainer is perfectly cast. He has a great scene with Martin where they go through an obstacle course. It's a culmination of 20 years of resentment and competition and they shove kids out of the way in order to beat the other. It's just plain funny!

Righteous Kill

PLOT: Someone is going around killing bad guys who've gotten away with their crimes.
STARS: Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Carla Gugino, Donnie Wahlberg, John Leguizamo, Brian Dennehy
Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino are long time cop partners trying to figure out who's taking the law into his own hands. It's soon determined that it must be a cop and then we have to figure out which one. Someone actually confesses to it early on but it wasn't until later that I realized that he wasn't confessing for himself. There's a twist that if you don't see it coming with the confessional, you'll catch on about 2/3 of the way into it. This is the first movie that DeNiro and Pacino have had any extended screen time together. (Doesn't it seem like they've already done lots of movies together? They haven't.) There's lot of language, not surprising given the cast and subject matter. It keeps you hooked though. I liked seeing Donnie Wahlberg. He needs to walk away from any more talk of a New Kids reunion and stick to acting. That's where his talent lies.

Angela's Ashes

PLOT: A boy grows up in impoverished Ireland. Based on a true story.
STARS: Emily Watson, Robert Carlyle, a bunch of different actors that I don't know
As with most movies based on books, the book is SO much better. It's the true story of Frank McCourt who grew up in Depression-era Ireland. The movie is gorgeously dreary but that's the problem--it's too gorgeous. This man's whole life is just one tragedy after another. He grew up in unbelievable poverty, most of the time having nothing to eat but lard and bread. He was sickly looking, not adorably handsome like the boys who play him in the film. You don't get a sense of how hard his life really was, how hard it was just to survive day to day. And you don't realize how much his father shaped his life even though he ends up being absent for a lot of it. Don't bother with the movie but DO read the book.

Fred Claus

PLOT: Santa's estranged brother agrees to help out at the North Pole in exchange for $50,000 to invest in a casino.
STARS: Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Kevin Spacey
Vince Vaughn is one of those people that you either love or hate. He is the same in every movie so if you like one Vince Vaughn movie, you'll probably like them all. I happen to like him. That being said, this movie was your typical holiday redemption movie. Brothers have always been at odds with each other, major crisis brings them together to save Christmas, all is well in the end. Kevin Spacey is the bad guy threatening to shut down Christmas. And we all know the only reason anyone would ever want to do that is because one year as a child he didn't get want he asked Santa for. Hasn't Santa learned by now that that only serves in creating mean people who hate Santa? Paul Giamatti makes a good Santa, though and Ludacris is a strangely cute elf. Here's my bit of useless movie trivia for you. Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey were in The Negotiator together and Vince Vaughn and John Michael Higgins (the head elf) were both in The Break Up. Now you know.

House Bunny

PLOT: A Playboy bunny gets kicked out of the mansion and gets a job as a house mom for a dying sorority.
STARS: Anna Faris, Emma Stone, Colin Hanks
This is kind of a cute movie. Anna Faris is the "bunny" and she's sweet. Well, sweet in a stereotypical dumb blonde kind of way. All the girls of the sorority are social rejects who have to get more pledges or they lose their house. So little miss bunny sexes them up until everyone's pounding on the door to get in. They learn to balance who they really are with the stuff that they learn from bunny and all live happily ever after. The only thing I didn't really like was the guy that Emma Stone (the leader of the sorority) is in love with. He wants nothing to do with her when she's a complete nerd but once she looks great, he's all over her. And she makes sure to act dumb so she won't intimidate him. The whole point is to be who you really are. Not act like an idiot to score some stupid frat guy.

Appaloosa

PLOT: Two men are hired to bring peace to a western town after a man and his gang murder the sheriff.
STARS: Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Renee Zellweger, Jeremy Irons
If you like modern westerns, you'll like this movie. I'm not a big fan of Renee Zellweger and her character drove me crazy. She falls in love with Ed Harris but then spends the rest of the movie falling into bed with any man who looks at her sideways. I love the unspoken communication between Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen. They really make you believe that they've been together for years. Jeremy Irons can always be counted on to bring the slime and he does it well as always. However, I was a little distracted by his accent. It's hard to do cowboy when you sound like he does. But overall, good movie.

Taken

PLOT: A teenage girl is kidnapped while in Europe and her ex-spy dad has to track her down.
STARS: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Jenssen
I actually saw this in the theater! The scene in which she's actually taken is so good. I was gripping my husband's hand the whole time. As with most movies nowadays, credibility is strained in several parts but it keeps you on the edge of your seat most of the time. The movie made me a little sad. The girl is sold into the sex trade and you see scenes of what happens to these girls (nothing terribly graphic). Part of me says there's no way anything that horrible could really happen but the truth is that what happens is so much worse. Despite minor plot issues, I enjoyed it.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

PLOT: Indy is recruited by Marion's son to save her and find the legendary crystal skull.
STARS: Harrison Ford, Shia LeBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen
Indiana meets Marion's son who, it turns out, is actually his son. It's a typical Indiana Jones movie. Bad guys want to take over the world, Indiana has to find a lost artifact in order to stop them. It's fun to watch Indiana realize that he has a son. Great casting in Shia LeBeouf, love him. Karen Allen picks up as if she never left the series. I wasn't sure about the whole alien thing but it works. There's always a bit of mythical or otherworldly-ness in these movies so in that sense, it fit. If you liked the other movies, you'll like this one, too.

Crank

PLOT: A hitman is shot up with some kind of chemical cocktail that will stop his heart--revenge for someone he took out. He has to keep his adreniline up until he can get his doctor friend to help him.
STARS: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakum(sp?), a bunch of Chinese bad guys
This is kind of a teenage boy movie. It's completely unbelievable; it's just a vehicle for car chases and stunts and shoot outs. But I thought it was fun. It has no redeeming qualities other than it's just fun to watch Jason Statham run around town hyped up on Red Bull, picking fights and getting hit with a defibrillator to keep his heart pumping. Honestly, I've decided that anything with Jason Statham is worth watching. He'll never be nominated for an acting award but he's just so...pretty! Sometimes that's enough for me (well, the accent helps, too.) It really strains credibility through most of it, and especially at the end, but it's a fun ride.

Gone Baby Gone

PLOT: The child of a druggie mom goes missing and the aunt hires a local private investigator to find her.
STARS: Casey Affleck, Amy Ryan, Ed Harris, Bridget Moynahan, Morgan Freeman
I've been dying to see this one since it came out. For several reasons, actually. First, it's Ben Affleck's directorial debut. Second, the whole movie rests on Casey Affleck, the baby faced younger brother and typical tag along to Ben's movie characters. And third, there was so much critical hype when it came out. For once, the hype was well deserved. The movie has so many twists and turns, sometimes it's hard to keep up but it's worth sticking with it. Casey Affleck is so good and his baby face actually plays into the plot of the movie. It asks very difficult questions about what's right and wrong in a very twisted world. Do you do the right thing when it seems so wrong? Would doing something that's wrong be okay if a child's life will forever benefit? Ed Harris co-stars and is great as always. Amy Ryan is the child's mother and she was nominated for and won all kinds of acting awards. It's no surprise to me. She did such a great job I wanted to reach through the TV and smack her upside the head. Watch it and let me know what you think about Casey's character's decision.

American Psycho

PLOT: A Wall Street stockbroker goes around killing people. End of Story.
STARS: Christian Bale
This movie came out quite a few years ago, but with Christian Bale being such a hot topic lately, I thought I had to see it. Don't bother. As the title suggests, he is Psycho, a serial killer actually. It's all very 80s/Gordon Gekko/Wall Street and he does that part well. But it's just too bizarre for me. He's a great actor but he falls into that category of Hollywood actor that would consider himself an Actor, very Method (see The Machinist). I've seen better serial killer movies (Mr. Brooks, for example) and better movies period. He waxes poetic about his CDs and murders people in very odd fashion (is there a normal way to murder people?) and I could just never get into the movie. And really, the whole point of any movie is just to be entertained. This one just didn't do it.

Flying Monkeys

The Descent

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Latest Twilight News

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Made of Honor

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

30 Days of Night

My Rating System

Underworld; Underworld, Evolution; Underworld, Rise of the Lycans

The Wedding Date

Bolt

The Usual Suspects, Etc.

27 Dresses

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

Righteous Kill

Angela's Ashes

Fred Claus

House Bunny

Appaloosa

Taken

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Crank

Gone Baby Gone

American Psycho

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